Last year I had this intense longing for an intergenerational spiritual community that could hold the complexity of my personal spiritual practices with sacredness. One that still allows for expansion, different beliefs and experiences, and was not full of hierarchy.

Today I realized that community exists in my life, it just showed up gradually in a way I didn't expect or recognize immediately.

Every month I meet with an intergenerational group of elders and peers on either the Full Moon or the New Moon. We have been meeting like this for over a year. Several of us also meet weekly on Sundays for a chakra cleansing meditation and reflection, and bi-weekly for workshops where we discuss the ways healing is showing up in our lives. These groups all formed organically because individuals who knew each other through community wanted to offer their gifts, and we all created space to be able to receive and give back to one another. Anyone within this amorphous yet cohesive group can offer something of their gifts to the community. We talk about astrology, and plant medicine, and ancestors, grief and recovery, and we walk through the current ups and downs of life together. We often meditate together, with someone guiding us, then we share what came up for us. We have made moon water on the full moon, shared tinctures and flower essences, and engaged in other rituals together. We claim gifts like medium, psychic, oracle, seer, healer, witness. There are days it feels like a church, because there is a rhythm to when we meet, and the meeting happens whether or not a few of us miss it or show up. Although my guess is that church is mimicking something that preceded it, when humans within tribes and geographically adjacent areas gathered to celebrate, grieve and ritualize their existence together.

To be honest I have a lot of trauma around church. Some of the worst human beings, and worst abuse I have ever witnessed and experienced happened as a result of people in evangelical churches. Yet, even though this is true, I am a deeply spiritual person, and the urge to share my spiritual walk --which these days is mostly solitary-- remains. A few years ago I would have said that I preferred my solo spiritual practice and never wanted to engage spirituality in a group again. So the fact that I'm not only willing to gather with these friends, but also celebrating it represents quite a bit of recovery. It reminds me of lotus flowers blooming while growing from mud.

Last year so much blossomed for me. I planted my first garden. I have been an herbalist for almost 20 years, but because of many different circumstances I never had the opportunity to grow my own herbs. Imagine my joy when I discovered that my affinity for dead plants existed with living plants too! There is something very grounding about planting a seed, watching a plant grow while tending to its needs, paying attention and listening as it shows a need for water, sun, nutrients, and pruning, until a day it expresses a readiness for harvest and then I get to work with the spirit and essence of that plant through making medicine. It is truly a magical process.

My favorite types of plants I've grown, the ones that have influenced me the most over this past year, are varieties of basil. I have 5 types of basil growing in my yard. Licorice Basil, Purple Basil, Genovese Basil, Lemon Basil, Tulsi / Holy Basil. I found basil to be one of my favorite plants because it communicates so well, is delicious, medicinal, gorgeous, and attracts lots of pollinators.

Last year on the New Moon in Scorpio, just as I began to come to terms with the abusive dynamics in my marriage, I planted Tulsi / Holy Basil seeds in a few pots in my front yard. Tulsi is probably one of my favorite plants, one of my besties that I have walked alongside for at least a decade. I grew it with the intention of drying it and making a tincture and tea. I harvested the Tulsi on the previous month's full moon in Scorpio, and hung it to dry for 2 weeks. Then I made a tea and tincture with it. The tea is delicious, and the tincture is still extracting. It will be ready for my family court date in June.

Tulsi is part of a group of plants called nervines. As their name indicates, nervines support the body's nervous system with balance and equilibrium in different ways.

Tulsi or Holy Basil supports nervous system equilibrium by doing what I call "smoothing out the waves". I read somewhere that in India tulsi is used to purify water. Tulsi tincture, and flower essences are like holy water for me. That is not a technical definition, but my embodied experience of working with tulsi during tumultuous times in my life where there were lots of ups and downs. What it felt like was Tulsi in its various forms helped me stay upright, cleanse my energy, and adapt to waves of intense stress and anxiety. It also helps me with memory and sleep (which often fails me during stressful times), and generally gave me more capacity to feel my emotions without being overwhelmed by them. You can see why I decided to grow this plant as my reality crumbled. I have worked with Tulsi aerial parts in two ways: leaves and sticks, and flowers.

In 2022, another very trying season of my life, I was living at a retreat center that grew Tulsi. During the time the Tulsi was flowering, I made a tincture of only tulsi flowers by soaking the fresh fragrant blossoms in everclear. Even though everclear is sharp and astringent, the tincture was gentle, fragrant, purple, and sweet. I experienced this tulsi flower extract as very gentle, like a warm, loving hand caressing your weary cheek after a long hard day. This is what my spiritual community feels like sometimes too, a loving caress that melts the week away and prepares you to face yet another. I think that the 2022 Tulsi Flower tincture was one of my favorite tinctures I ever made. I have not been able to replicate this fragrant sweet extract since that first time.

Tulsi leaf and branches are more firm and steadying. I've found it so helpful for memory, focus, and avoiding the impact-shocks of stress and anxiety while trying to cope with flashbacks and grief from resurfacing childhood trauma. Sometimes I mixed it with a lion's mane mushroom extract for additional nerve support, because Lion's Mane contains nerve growth factor that can support regrowth of damaged nerves. Over time with tulsi leaf, I notice I have more room to breathe in my body, I'm not forgetting things as much as before, and I have a greater sense of my own resilience. It's the kind of noticing that sneaks up on you. One day you just think-- oh, I guess I'm not forgetting things all the time anymore. Or, wow, I have slept really well every day this week. It reminds me of how I "woke up" in Moon Circle today and realized I have the community I had been longing for a year ago. I was looking for it here in Belize, but the community exists elsewhere and I attend virtually.

The place I live makes this kind of gathering complicated. While I have come to love many things about Belize, the pervasive, oppressive Christian culture is not one of those things. One day I will talk more about how I believe colonial Christianity is a breeding ground for abuse of all kinds, but for today I will just admit that I find the religion extremely colonial and oppressive. It makes me sad to see how the United States has exported evangelical Christian cults to Belize via missionaries --including the cult I was born and raised in. It's really heartbreaking and scary. These evangelical churches feel like an invasive species decimating what could have been an ecosystem open to indigenous spiritual renewal while recovering from colonial rule post independence. Another day.

For today, I am grateful for technology that allows me to be a real present part of a spiritual community elsewhere, a lifeline really, during such a chaotic time in my new immigrant life. These people and gatherings back in my home country are my spirit's Holy Basil. They cleanse the holy waters of my blood, smooth out the ups and downs of life, offer sweet nectar through meditation, and help me remember who I truly am-- that I am not alone, and that I am extraordinarily resilient. It's a particular kind of support that goes beyond peer support, into life-affirming spiritual care.

Seattle friends, you are my Holy Basil.

We have been hanging out --some of us -- for almost 10 years, and last year was the first time we decided to gather to celebrate the New Moon every month for a year. For me, this began as an experiment that I expected to end. When the lunar new year approached, I realized I hoped it wouldn't end, and even though I was not part of that discussion, the meetings continued and grew in attendance. This year we are meeting on Full Moons. I am often the only one attending virtually, but they make a point to have a laptop set up and a mic to pass around so that I can hear everyone. Yesterday I baked bread and made floral moon water with moringa and basil flowers while they were having a potluck and making lavender moon water.

I hope one day I can have my own moon circle gathering of people locally. But for now I am grateful for the opportunity to have what I need even though I am living far away from these in-person gatherings. This is such an Aquarian adaptation to a Sagittarian problem.

This full moon in Sagittarius—a sign of expansive philosophy, protected knowledge, immigration journeys, and truth—feels like the perfect time to recognize that this longing I had for several years is now being met over great distances. The community has brought itself to me, and I to them. It feels as though it emerged from the ashes of betrayal and spiritual abuse from my childhood, and it has been so healing. To have wise elders and peers and to receive support and teaching from people who are not just old, but truly elders. Not all elders are wise. Tulsi is a wise elder and I'm grateful for the spiritual community who embody holy basil in my spiritual life.

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